Benefits and gas money

I joked that I would work for benefits and gas money. I have for the last two years.

The academic calendar flips to a new year. I am moving out of the system. Today is my last day of coverage.

I get very nervous when I get letters in the mail that state, "Please read the information contained in this notice very carefully", bracketed by five asterisks.

Rationally, I know that I can easily get covered under my husband's plan. It's in place. We are transitioning on a plan for coverage in retirement. I won't have to worry about medical coverage ever again.

So maybe it isn't the insecurity of coverage that gives me pause.

Cue: Teardrop.
It's that I wasn't of sufficient value to the department, to be paid benefits and gas money.
Internal rage wells.
I'm worth more than that.

Yes, it's going to take many mornings of oatmeal, many miles walking, many rows of knitting to let go of the anger.